# 自怨自艾

zì yuàn zì yì

Dwell on remorse or self-pity

## Meaning & wording

**Literally:** Reproach and correct oneself

**Register:** Concerned · formal

[Perspective](https://chinese-idioms.yudis.dev/idioms/topics/perspective)

## When to use it

Describe painful regret turned inward.

Modern use often criticizes rumination, not healthy reflection.

## Understanding the expression

The phrase turns regret back toward the person who feels it. It can involve blaming oneself, lamenting one's situation, or dwelling on mistakes without finding a way forward. Modern use often urges action instead of prolonged self pity. Acknowledging regret can still be useful when it leads to repair and learning. The distinction is whether reflection helps someone understand the past or simply repeats blame until future effort feels impossible.

## Examples

别一直自怨自艾，先补救问题。

### Traditional Chinese

別一直自怨自艾，先補救問題。

bié yì zhí zì yuàn zì yì ， xiān bǔ jiù wèn tí 。

Do not dwell on self blame; begin fixing the problem.

她失败后一度自怨自艾。

### Traditional Chinese

她失敗後一度自怨自艾。

tā shī bài hòu yí dù zì yuàn zì yì 。

After failing, she spent a while in self reproach.

朋友劝他停止自怨自艾。

### Traditional Chinese

朋友勸他停止自怨自艾。

péng yǒu quàn tā tíng zhǐ zì yuàn zì yì 。

His friend urged him to stop dwelling on self pity.

他把自怨自艾变成认真反省。

### Traditional Chinese

他把自怨自艾變成認真反省。

tā bǎ zì yuàn zì yì biàn chéng rèn zhēn fǎn xǐng 。

He turned self blame into thoughtful reflection.

## Sources & reference checks

Original explanations and examples from Chinese Idioms Almanac. Source-checked October 6, 2026.

- [CC-CEDICT · forms & pronunciation](https://www.mdbg.net/chinese/dictionary?page=worddict&wdqb=%E8%87%AA%E6%80%A8%E8%87%AA%E8%89%BE)

- [Ministry of Education · 成語典](https://dict.idioms.moe.edu.tw/idiomView.jsp?ID=300&webMd=1&la=0)

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