# 礼尚往来

lǐ shàng wǎng lái

Courtesy should go both ways

## Meaning & wording

**Literally:** Courtesy values exchange

**Traditional Chinese:** 禮尚往來

**Register:** Neutral · conversational

[People & connection](https://chinese-idioms.yudis.dev/idioms/topics/relationships)

## When to use it

Use for mutual visits, gifts, or helpful gestures.

It need not mean keeping a strict score of favors.

## Behind the words

The Book of Rites discusses reciprocal courtesy. Giving and responding are both part of sustaining a relationship.

往来 points to movement in both directions. The idiom describes courtesy as something sustained through mutual gestures rather than one-sided receiving. It can apply to invitations, visits, gifts, or helpful acts. Appropriate reciprocity depends on the relationship and local practice; the phrase does not impose a requirement to match every gift's monetary value.

## Examples

朋友之间礼尚往来，下次我来请客。

### Traditional Chinese

朋友之間禮尚往來，下次我來請客。

péng yǒu zhī jiān lǐ shàng wǎng lái ， xià cì wǒ lái qǐng kè 。

Courtesy goes both ways between friends; next time the meal is on me.

朋友邀请我吃饭，下次我请他，礼尚往来。

### Traditional Chinese

朋友邀請我吃飯，下次我請他，禮尚往來。

péng yǒu yāo qǐng wǒ chī fàn ， xià cì wǒ qǐng tā ， lǐ shàng wǎng lái 。

My friend invited me to dinner, and I will invite him next time to return the courtesy.

邻居给我们送来水果，我们回赠点心，礼尚往来。

### Traditional Chinese

鄰居給我們送來水果，我們回贈點心，禮尚往來。

lín jū gěi wǒ men sòng lái shuǐ guǒ ， wǒ men huí zèng diǎn xīn ， lǐ shàng wǎng lái 。

Our neighbors brought fruit, and we returned the gesture with pastries.

合作不只是接受帮助，也需要礼尚往来。

### Traditional Chinese

合作不只是接受幫助，也需要禮尚往來。

hé zuò bù zhǐ shì jiē shòu bāng zhù ， yě xū yào lǐ shàng wǎng lái 。

Cooperation involves returning consideration as well as receiving help.

## Sources & reference checks

Original explanations and examples from Chinese Idioms Almanac. Source-checked October 4, 2026.

- [Ministry of Education · 成語典](https://dict.idioms.moe.edu.tw/idiomView.jsp?ID=374&q=1&webMd=1&la=0)

- [CC-CEDICT · forms & pronunciation](https://www.mdbg.net/chinese/dictionary?page=worddict&wdqb=%E7%A6%AE%E5%B0%9A%E5%BE%80%E4%BE%86)

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